Why Doesn't It Come "Pre-Slitted?"

I'm making one of those crappy 50¢ pot pies. (Not that 50 Cent. Eminem's protege isn't yet hard up enough to start hawking frozen food. Another film flop like Get Rich Or Die Tryin' and you should be able to purchase "Fi'ty Fish Sticks" at any convenience store near you.)

The instructions say to cut a slit in the top before cooking. I forgot to.

Now I'm pissed. It's the 21st freaking century and I still have to cut my own slit? Why don't these mo-fo's come pre-slit?

Hey, Fi'ty! That's a good catchphrase for you, homie.

"These mo-fo's come pre-slitted." (Huge grin, sell it for the camera, Curtis.)


Word out.

 
Categories: Eminem 50 Cent Pot Pies Food Humor Humour

OMG! A Nipple!

Speaking of "whipping one out so the kid can have lunch," there's anger and vituperation flying after a Victoria's Secret store threw a woman out for trying to breast feed.

Considering their philosophy, this shouldn't be surprising.

As anyone who's minutely examined a Victoria's Secret catalog with a powerful magnifying glass can tell you, they mark each piece of gratuitous breastage with the label: "For display purposes only. Not for actual use."


BONUS QUIP:
Since "nursing" is a synonym for breastfeeding, is it any wonder so many men have nurse fantasies?

 

What's The Big Deal About Britney?

So there's this big fuss because Britney Spears was photographed driving with her baby in her lap.

What's the big deal? Air bag in front, air bags in back. The kid couldn't have been safer.

Now if she had whipped one out and let the kid have lunch at the same time I could understand the uproar.

After all, we all know you should never drink and drive.